My relationship is stronger than ever. We have found unconditional love. We have also come a long way. After infidelity, it was hard to pick up the pieces of our relationship. Luckily, we asked for help and had our lives, and our marriage, changed for life. As we recently wrote about, there is a common belief that an affair always ends in marriage. There are also judgements surrounding those who stay together after an affair. Marriage doesn’t have to end after experiencing infidelity though. It can often lead to a beautiful union that is stronger and more loving than it had been. Here are a couple ways infidelity can actually strengthen a relationship:

Communication

After experiencing infidelity, it can be easy to clam up and not seek out the details. But honesty, even when painful, has been shown to positively affect the possibility of emotional healing and reconciliation. These conversations do not have to be in excruciating detail, but getting specifics to help understand the situation can help us cope.  

So many relationships fail due to poor communication. When we move past an affair, we are better able to understand the importance of voicing hurt, asking questions, and listening to our partners. Many affairs are born out of factors in our lives that we hide from our partners. Being open and honest with them provides us with essential support and care.

Reframe Expectations

We often expect too much of our partners. We want them to be everything to us and we to them. Yet searching for all the answers in another person only leads to discontent. When we believe our partners should be doing certain things for us, whether literally or figuratively, yet we do not receive what we expect, we look for other sources to fill those needs.

Through communication and unconditional love, we are able to understand that love means not expecting anything in return. Marriages after infidelity who come to accept these principles are stronger because they have begun to address the aspects about themselves that seek validation and approval that send them into the beds of other people. Overcoming infidelity means opening yourself up to change.

When we experience pain and disappointment, or when we are confronted by our fears, it only feels natural to run and give up. Instead of losing a relationship, try re-framing your mindset to look at infidelity as a new opportunity, as a second chance, an open door. When we actively address the problems in our lives, we grow and change, so why not use the same approach with our relationships?

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