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“My husband seems like the perfect man. He doesn’t go out or drink and he goes to church. He is respectful and attentive. Why do I feel bored?”

Pete replies…

Boredom is a feeling that is within us when we feel emotionally depleted and we don’t have any sense of purpose. When we feel emotionally depleted, we look outside of ourselves to get filled up and usually look to other people or things to make us feel better.

In an emotionally depleted state it is also much harder to access a sense of gratitude for what we already have. We seek short terms bursts of things that are more stimulating, more exciting, that give us an instant boost. Sadly, these short term solutions we seek tend to wear of very quickly and we find ourselves back in our emotionally depleted state, often with a gradually increasing sense of emptiness. It becomes a loop. Emotional depletion, seek outside boost, find quick fix solution, fix quick solution wears off, find ourselves back to emotional depletion plus a sense of disappointment being back in same place. This emotional depletion slightly increases. Seek outside boost………….. and so on.

One much surer way of turning this loop inside out is to instead of seeking a temporary outside boost to make you feel better, try to find ways that you can be giving to other people. When we give to, help or serve other people, it can take us outside of ourselves, fill us up emotionally and give us an added sense of purpose – thus eradicating the feeling of boredom.

Maybe you might learn about ways that you could be more giving to your husband. It sounds as if he gives quite a bit to you. How could you give more to him? Or maybe you could get involved in some sort of volunteering together, or finding some way or serving in your community. There are many many ways in which we can give to others – this might help to alleviate your sense of boredom which in turn will help you to better appreciate your husband for who he really is and find gratitude for the things that he does do for you.

Written by Pete Uglow.