“I don’t think I love my wife anymore. What should I do?”

Pete replies…

I have learnt from my own personal experience that the world is very confused about what ‘love’ really is. I was confused, my wife was confused – it turns out my parents were confused, my in-laws were confused and in turn, I confused my own children.

Since my wife and I learnt what love really was, we then started to help other people learn more about it and undo any confusion they had. What we discovered was startling. At least 98% of the people we helped had significant confusion about what love really is. And furthermore, we can see the same pattern all around us, even in people we are not yet helping. We see individual confusion, confusion amongst couples, we see these couples parents were confused and we see couples now  confusing their children. And nobody means to do any of this deliberately.

There are many things that the world calls ‘love’. All humans need love like they need oxygen, food and water. But, not any kind of love will do. We can’t drink dirty water without becoming ill. We can’t eat rancid food without becoming ill. We can’t breath oxygen mixed with other gases without become ill. In the same way, we can’t receive or give love unless it is in its pure form without eventually suffering a painful consequence.
The pure form of love we need is called unconditional love.

Unconditional love has been so confused, it doesn’t just happen between two humans – we need to understand it and we need to learn how to give it and how to receive it. Learning the truth about unconditional love has transformed me, my marriage and my relationship with my children and wider family.

Be open to the idea that you might be confused about what love really is. This is not your fault – in fact, it’s nobody’s fault – it’s just that those who’s job it was to teach you, didn’t really know themselves. They did the best they could with the knowledge they had, but if they were confused, then they would simply have passed on their own misunderstanding. Remember, at one time in history, we were all being taught that the world was flat and that there was a man living on the moon.

In fact, I think as we have got more and more civilised as a race, we have been gradually getting closer and closer to understanding what true love really is but there is still a long way to go. I believe that as humans are evolving, we are becoming more and more capable of being more perfectly loving, but evolution never ceases. There is yet work to do.

I’d recommend that you would decide to make learning about unconditional love a goal of yours – make it a commitment to yourself, your marriage and your family. If you can learn what unconditional love is and learn to bring it into your marriage, you will start to find a one between you and your wife that won’t diminish over time, but will only grow and grow. Your life will become so fulfilled if you do this.



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